My Thoughts on Online Dating

I recently met this girl over the internet. I was participating in one of those online dating sites. It seemed like a reasonable next step. I mean, What can I say? What was I supposed to do? There wasn't anybody around that I was interested in getting to know better. So, I said to myself, okay I didn't say; I thought to myself in a very general way. "Why not try to sell myself to a wider audience?" I was unable to find a good enough reason not to so I did. I advertised myself with pictures and a profile. I even took the little personality test, you know, the whole nine yards. Over a few months of idle searching and looking I had met a few people from the site, I had even gone out with one in person, but to be honest I was not very impressed. I was the opposite of impressed really, but I suppose that goes with the territory. I suppose that's why online dating has such a negative vibe.

Anyway, I was contemplating what I would do next. What other means of meeting people that don't live within my narrow little life when I received a "Hi" from somebody on the site. "I'll take a look" I said to myself "Why not, make myself feel worse for mentally rejecting another girl I'm just not attracted to? Wait... what's this? She's cute... Don't get your hopes up yet, you haven't even read the blurb you have to read the blurb. I mean what if she's crazy or, heaven forbid, dumb as a brick?" I told myself, while once again feeling worse about myself and humanity. I read the greeting, she didn't sound crazy, she wasn't dumb, in fact she was interesting. I caught myself wanting to know more. My next order of business was to send her a message. I attached my e-mail address, and let her know that I appreciated her "Hi", and mentioned that I found her profile intriguing.

That's the word I used, intriguing. I remember wanting to sound interested without being creepy weird. And, for the record I find that the line between interested and creepy weird is too narrow. I'm not saying I want to do creepy weird things, and it be normal. I just think some normal things are considered creepy weird... hmm, does that mean what I think is normal is actually creepy weird? Possibly... I should ponder that more.

So she responded back to me, with a little caution and some back-peddling thrown in for good measure. "It was just a little 'Hi'"She implied, "It was very innocent I swear! By golly if you are creepy weird I will drop you like a hot rock." That's the sort of vibe I got from our first correspondence, a promising start right?... "I'm a creeper and she knows it... great!" Okay probably not so promising, but I could work with it. I tried to respond in a manner to set her at ease, something along the lines of "You are absolutely right people online are creepy and weird. However, if you are up to it, maybe we can learn a little about each other, and not be creepy or weird!" It worked! She totally responded to me again. This time much more at ease. "I'm still concerned! You haven't proven anything yet. So, state your business and I may consider what you have to say." I'm of the opinion she replied with those exact words hidden among other sentences. "Hot dog," I thought (this is not a popular phrase and after writing it I can see why.) "I'm making progress."

We traded messages once again. This time it was much more congenial we answered questions and talked about what we do, who we know, our dreams and ambitions, pets, books, movies, and religion. I then didn't respond, I was busy. I was moving after all that's an excuse people use and it was true. I was working, I have to sit there, every day, in front of a computer that has internet access where it's possible to email. How could I possibly respond? And, I had activities and people to please. Then a week past. "Oh now it's weird. I mean we had sent 3 correspondences in less then 3 days, and now it's been a week..." what does that even mean in the world of the internet? That's like 3/4 of an eternity on the internet. I mean, memes live, grow old, die, and zombify in that time. So now I was moving, working and terrified that I had spurned somebody who didn't take kindly to spurning. Another week past, oh great now I was a jerk. Two weeks, that was officially the amount of time necessary to jerk a human being, and I had done it to myself. I wasn't going to let it fade away though I mean this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Right? An interesting person who's cute from off the internet ... no way... I know!

So, I sent her an apology and picked up where I had left off. I hit the send button and waited... my first thought was "She's going to wait two weeks out of spite...*fake spanish accent* 'I hate waiting'", I mean I was the jerk I deserved it. It was a whole 12 hours later when I knew I was off the hook and was officially not a jerk. "Yes! I knew I wasn't a jerk... it's normal for things to happen. Of course things happen. Who would think somebody was a jerk for not writing for two whole 3/4 eternities?" That's a whole eternity and a half for those of you who aren't very good at math. If you happen to be very poor at math I'm sorry I don't mean to offend.

Well, this leads me to the point of these musings what do we do now? We are continuing our internet get to know you session, but what are the options? How does this long distance thing work? How do you take it from oh 'Hi' to something more then that. I don't think it's time for something more then oh "Hi". I'm just curious. I just mean, I tend to think about the future, and I am currently having difficulty seeing what's going to happen in the next few internet eternities.